by aidanvoidout. 65th place, IFComp 2022.

Buggy, broody and violent, cinematic.

What’s working for me:

• There’s certainly a distinct flavor to it. It’s kind of got the cadence of a translated film, and I think that’s what the author was going for. There’s an action sequence, and kind of quiet bits, and a confrontation.
• A clear goal from the start. :+1:
• Time-sword! Neat! Great set-up for this in the bar and then the descriptions of it in practice, and how the enemy responds to it, were clearly thought out and interesting.
• The very very long passage describing reliving all the terrible things in the main character’s life was effective for its contrast with the rest of the work.

What’s not working for me:

• The opening lines have me running in circles.

According to an apparition you saw on the battlefield, you had less than a day to live.
“How?” you asked. After all, you didn’t feel any different from usual
“It may not look like it, but it’s your injuries. You’ll die soon.”

• I can’t parse the character’s thoughts here. It seems like they are not surprised by the apparition, but they are surprised at the news that they will die. When they ask “how” did they not think it might have something to do with a) being on a battlefield, or b) their injuries? How are they so used to battle wounds that they don’t feel “any different from usual” but they don’t recognize a fatal wound? So right away I was on alert for confusing character thoughts.

• We have a very clear goal at the start (kill the shogun) but then immediately as the game opens up the options are “go to the bar, get some fresh air, sit in your room and die” none of which seems to be particularly in the direction of the stated goal - and then we end up railroaded back to our mission. It feels like “get down to business” needed to be an option.

• There are dead ends - it seems like there’s a little bit of puzzle to getting through this story, but it’s really not clear to me what internal logic the world is running on that I would use to navigate it.

• At least once I hit a dead end and was able to unwind and try again, but on another ending it seems like I hit a bug and after “undo” the correct option was not available to me. So if there’s a “successful” ending to this game, I was unable to see it.

• No credited playtesters.

So cool premise and well written, but not really my style and I think I hit a bug that made it un-finishable.