We All Fall Together

IFComp 2023

I'm likely misinterpreting the metaphor in this piece, but what I read was a *memento mori* in a surreal story about everyone falling through a great void. The dark storm below might be home or hell, but we're all headed there. We only control how we feel, and how fast we fall.

What worked for me

The best thing: It took a little time after reading for this to sink in, but there is a *lot* of character motion in this very short story. The PC passes through disorientation, fear, doubt, empathy, and courage. The Rock Star presents nihilism that slowly peels away to reveal regret, cowardice, ego, terror, and finally some resolve.

It's also well-written and funny! There's an interaction that reveals the second line here, which caused a chuckle:

“What the hell is wrong with you!” the person yells. Good question. Everything is still spinning.

“A lot! Actually!” I shout to my new sky diving buddy.

I also found it funny when the characters speculate that the storm below might hide Purgatory, since they seem to be in a kind of Purgatory already.

I don't remember the last time I went skydiving in IF, and I liked how many of the verbs were “Grab” and “Dive” - it was appropriate to the setting and added some consistency that I miss in other Texture works.

For a moment I felt like the ending was abrupt, but on reflection it's savvy to cut before we reach the cyclone without even a hint of what waits. It drives home the idea that the story was about deciding to approach the threshold, not the threshold itself.

What worked less well

I feel like this piece is trying to say something, but I'm a little uncertain what that is. I'm choosing to go with the read that we should live a life empowered by our embrace of mortality, rather than slowed by fear and avoidance of the inevitable. I think the title “We All Fall Together” supports the idea that it's a universal narrative. And I'm on board with that message! But a number of other interpretations came to mind that might endorse different values.

The one that bothers me is that it's *almost* about choosing an earlier death - a pro-suicide parable. The Rock Star saying “we belong down there” and then being challenged on why he hasn't taken the dive yet struck me as a very uncomfortable moment, like saying “go ahead and do it then” to a suicidal friend. Then, we die together in the end? I don't like this read, but I worry it fits the story as written better than my preferred interpretation.

Other takes I tried to fit to the story:

• This could be a story specifically about people near death, and how they choose to face it. But the characters seem middle-aged and healthy enough, and if this was the intent it didn't feel like it.
• This could be a story about people who are already dead - maybe it really is Purgatory - in which case there's a much softer “go into the light” read on the ending but I think it has less power and relevance to my life, too.
• Bringing death into the picture could all be an over-read - perhaps the author meant to generically address fear of the unknown, or some other specific fear. But I don't think so. There are enough little nods to an afterlife to push me away from this theory.

The other thing - which is less of a complaint, and more a wish - is that I liked the amount of character development and I liked the actions, but I wonder if they could have been tied together better. A lot of the interaction is (thought and dialogue) exploration, and some of it is specific actions that affect the Rock Star. Is there a design that would have helped me feel more like I chose the character development that happened, without derailing a fairly linear story? Maybe not. I'm going to chew on it for a while though.

Bugs: Just a couple of spelling issues, but not enough to be very distracting. For example, this should be “too:”

“Reach to high, and that happens,” the rock star says besides me.

Overall An original and thought-provoking short story. Thank you for sharing, Camron!