The Thick Table Tavern

by manonamora. 37th place, IFComp 2022.

What was that? Parts of it work, and parts of it feel like work. And the author clearly put a lot of work into it.

What’s working for me:

What’s not working for me:

“Ya can be such a c*** boss.”
  Which not only feels crude for the general tone of the game, it also seems out of place for the relationship between these two characters and it passes without comment. Then later in the story, we’re chastised for a softer insult:
[…] “OF COURSE, I’M SURE, YOU COW!”

> “JOHN!” Roscoe growls. “Language!”

  This interferes a bit with my understanding of the characters.